Freedom from Clinging: Kiss the Joy!

One of my first Dharma teachers was the appropriately named Dhammarati – he who delights in the law, the teachings of the Buddha. In 1984 I’d been attending the London (Triratna) Buddhist Centre for a few months following an initial 6-day residential retreat. I spotted a poster for a weekend event he was leading at the Centre and signed up. It was quite an intimate event with maybe 10 of us tucked away in a back study room in the large converted fire station in East London.

 I don’t remember much about the content of the weekend, but one gesture that Dhammarati used quite frequently has stayed with me for over 40 years. It is possible the theme had something to do with the Paramitas (Perfections), one of which is dana, or giving, because the gesture or mudra was of a clenched fist gently relaxing into an open hand. It is such a simple movement, but I find it striking that, rather than the teachings and discussions from those two days, this is what has stayed with me, not just as a memory or an image in the mind, but a visceral felt sense of this is what the spiritual life is about.

Open handed and open-hearted giving are said not to lead directly to wisdom itself but to be a crucial supporting factor. Sangharakshita has said that we should always be giving something; giving of our time or energy, giving materially, or giving of the Dharma. Giving of our confidence or fearlessness is another form of dana much needed in our world today. The Buddha said we should give freely, without expectation of reward or benefit in return. Training in dana as an attitude and an orientation point us towards the mind and heart that are, in those moments of giving, free from clinging.

In a recent interview for Tricycle Magazine, Joseph Goldstein talks about the defining issue that all Buddhist traditions have in common; they are tackling the deep-seated human tendency to cling and searching for the mind of ‘non-clinging.’ In those moments when we give, we go beyond our self-referential desires, including the desire to protect and insulate ourselves by shoring up physical and mental ‘stuff’ around us.  Dana softens the mind and helps make visible the deeper ways that the mind clings.

Clinging is that closed fist, and it hurts to cling. By clinging or grasping, we are trying to guard against losing what we are holding on to, and so we often feel tense and brittle. The heart-mind becomes tight and held in check, and this can translate to pain and tension in the body. This in turn creates uneasiness and an indefinable feeling that something isn’t quite right. Clinging is a deeply ingrained human habit, and mostly, we don’t know another way but to hang on. Our defensiveness is not protecting healthy boundaries but making sure we don’t lose what we consider ‘mine’ or whatever threatens ‘me.’

One of my favourite Dharma teachings is that of the Four Upadanas, four aspects of experience that we cling to. Firstly, the Buddha says, we cling to our sense experiences to try and create a feeling of security. Then there are two aspects relating to views; one to views in general including ideological and philosophical beliefs, and thirdly, views specifically about what we call ‘self.’ Finally, we cling to rituals and practices, creating an over-reliance on externals as a way to Enlightenment. These are a rich source of investigation – and we’ll be exploring them over New Year on a 5-day retreat (more info HERE).

Even though it creates suffering to keep our fist tightly closed, it is counter-productive to try to force it open. Practice is not about ignoring our own psychological defences but using a kindly, spacious, awareness with the intelligence of wisdom, to investigate how we cling and see for ourselves how it hurts. When we see this over time the natural response is to release clinging, to let go. In meditation, when we cultivate an awareness characterised by ease rather than control, and an open mind rather than a pre-determined agenda, we start to get a sense of what freedom from clinging feels like.

When we take awareness practice into our daily lives, we find many opportunities to recognize the tightening that happens when we hold onto views and opinions. At times we can access fruitful territory where we’re able to let go of being right, or of knowing what to do, or of needing to prove ourselves. We might notice the ‘planning’ mind looking to secure a future for itself a hundred times a day; that noticing, allows us to re-connect with the groundedness and groundlessness of present moment awareness. When we can stay with uncertainty and the disorientation that arises, rather than immediately jump to a limited security of thinking we know who we are and where we stand, we start to experience the rewards of non-clinging.

With an open hand and open mind, we can touch into the experience of those famous words by the poet and visionary, William Blake, we ‘kiss the joy as it flies.’ We stand within a flow of momentary experience and experience a kind of gleeful weightlessness. Freedom from Clinging is accomplished through standing, with awareness and wisdom, in the heart of the mind that clings.

Find out more about the retreat ‘Freedom from Clinging’ HERE